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Saturday, April 28, 2007
so midyears start next friday and despite most people feeling stressed and all, im feeling perfectly normal and i dont feel anxious/ worried/ stressed at all. does the problem lie with me?
went for lunch with sherlyn on friday. and we talked about threefourteen and how somehow close to everyone in class is feeling stressed either because of commitments or midyears. at this point in time, i guess it's most probably the latter. we concluded that it was 1. being in rgs and 2. being in threefourteen. i love threefourteen, dont get me wrong. we're bonded in weird way, as in even though there's ra and all, there's this "threefourteen-ness" if you get what i mean. but maybe because everyone in threefourteen is so brilliant that the pressure to match up to other comes in. like during the free block, people were photocopying past year papers, and starting to get worried about ss and all. it's scary actually, and it's horrible because the people who are feeling so pressurised/ stressed are your friends/ classmates.
sherlyn and i were saying that we're glad we're not one of those who are affected by others easily. (studies has become one of my lowest priorities. i hope i dont mess up midyears) i mean when we did the cle thing, "competition" fell under the last category ie the category that wasnt important/ the least important. haha us going for lunch instead of going for ss supplementary lesson shows everything =D but anyway we came up with a brilliant idea! i hope mrs quah gives us contact time, and our idea becomes reality x) im glad sherlyn's sitting beside me (:
you know i hate how i always say "yes i'll commit everything to You" and after a few hours/ few days, i'll turn around and do exactly the opposite. i hate going against what ive said. the way im handling things is scaring me. ive absolutely no focus in life now, and i dont have a direction. like today after youth meeting, uncleandrew told me that i'll have to pass them the goals and direction of youthcamp soon (but not so soon). and i gave him this blank look. which scared him a little i think. and i think he would have talked to me if not for the fact that i was busy after that. spoke to linus today again, and he was saying that yeah, being camp commandant is totally different from being assistant camp commandant, it's a lot more challenging and requires a whole lot more. but it's in december, so i shall attempt to focus on things that will happen soon.
i think my brother's feeling troubled. he just went running, at what 11.15pm. usually he doesnt run at such a time. i shall just wait and see what time he returns. everyone's feeling so troubled lately and thus the time comes for me to not look so troubled so hopefully i can influence people. i think im starting to lose my being-able-to-talk-to-people-ness, my sensitivity, my intuition. noo i want to be human D:
well technically i AM still human. as much as i would like to believe that im superman, im starting to realise that im not. sometimes i wish i was invincible physically. but well everyone wishes that right.
ah i shall create a new blog soon. i guess i'll stick to blogger because it's more userfriendly, but it'll be not known to so many people (i still wonder how a blog that started out with only a few people knowing about it ends up having more people than i expected reading it). but before i decide that ive enough time to create a new blog, please refrain from reading my posts if you came here through random blog-surfing/ know that i dont know that you know my url/ know that i dont want you to read because you're merely an acquaintance. thank you. i shall start a new blog soon because there's some things which just cant go on this blog. rawr.
my sister introduced me to an emo japanese song today. it's tears by x-japan. shall put the translation at the end of this post. i like the song actually, and my sister passed me the piano sheets. i think it's those kind of songs which can evoke tears. like today i played it after youth meeting and some people came up to me and said "hey peiling that piece of music you played speaks for itself. can make people cry one." haha well maybe it was because of was playing it with emotion x)
dry your tears especially you brandon.
x-japan- tears
Where do we go after we're separated
Now that hanging question has passed
On an endless night, I dreamt of a journey
I gazed at the foreign skies and embraced the loneliness
Tears always flow with the winds of time
It's not over, feel your sigh
Dry your tears with love
Loneliness, your silent whisper fills a river of tears through the night
Memory, you never let me cry and you, you never said good-bye
Sometimes our tears blinded the love
We lost our dreams along the way
But I never thought you'd trade your soul to the fates, never thought you'd leave me alone
Time through the rain has set me free
Sands of time will keep your memory
Love everlasting fades away
Alive within your beatless heart
Dry your tears with love
Tears always flow with the winds of time
It's not over, blue rose from sadness
Dry your tears with love
Tears always flow with the winds of time
It's not over, feel your sigh
Dry your tears with love
simplicity.
*****
simple facts
peiling
30 march
christian
tnsrgs
